I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
