You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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