3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
If that was your dad, he is hot
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
