and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
