i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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