Swine flu is the new snow day.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
