Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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