Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
