New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
