oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
