was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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