What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
