I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
