Porn is love you can see.
If that was your dad, he is hot
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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