this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
