My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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