i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
