I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
