I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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