JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
