You're completely useless in the revolution.
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
