Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
