i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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