So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize
