Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Are these your boobs on my camera?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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