1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
