Just fell off a train. Bad.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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