Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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