I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
