She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
