Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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