Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
