I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
