Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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