every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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