I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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