It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
