i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
