i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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