oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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