I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
