I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
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