Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
