I could make wine with my vomit
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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