After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
