I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
