whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
