hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
the day after is always just damage control
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
