that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
