I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
