As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
